How to deal with Naysayers at work

I came across an article on LinkedIn and it makes for an interesting read. Could't help but share it here.

How to deal with Naysayers at work?

Are there any naysayers in your life? Someone who is discouraging you from pursuing your goals and dreams, perhaps? Someone who thinks that you are joking and says “It’s impossible!” when you share your grand plans for your future? Someone who sabotages you when you try to cultivate a new habit or quit a bad habit? Someone who is keeping you from achieving your highest potential?

Naysayers in my Life

At one point in our life, we are bound to meet naysayers, be it colleagues, acquaintances, friends, or even close friends and family. Naysayers are termed as such because their favorite response is “nay.” Say you want to quit drinking alcohol. They’ll go “nay” and tell you that drinking a few more mugs won’t kill you. Say you want to lose weight and you eat healthily. They’ll go “nay,” that healthy food is boring, and then tell you to eat unhealthy, junk food instead. Say you are considering pursuing your passion. They’ll tell you that it’s not feasible in the bad economy today (the economy is always bad to them), that it’s not going to make you money.
Most of the times, naysayers have little to add to the conversation, only endeavoring to extinguish your hopes and dreams.

What do I mean by negative thinking?

I'm not talking about constructive criticism or the identification of constraints and potential obstacles that must be overcome. I'm also not advocating riding on unbridled optimism all the way to the project management equivalent of the Little Bighorn. I'm talking about objections that are specifically engineered to defeat the project. These are statements (however elaborately supported) that can essentially be paraphrased: "It can't be done."

Dealing with Naysayers

Each time I meet a naysayer, I’ll first try to understand where he/she is coming from. Does he/she have a valid viewpoint, or is he/she just speaking from his/her fears? If it’s clear that the person is projecting his/her own fears rather than giving constructive thoughts, I’ll disregard his/her input. My goals are precious, and I’m not going to entertain anyone who tries to dump toxic waste onto my goals.

After I know that someone is a certified naysayer™, I’ll reduce contact with him/her, because I’m not interested to deal with someone’s fears and hangups about my goals.
For each of the goals I mentioned earlier (striving for my highest results in life, becoming a vegetarian, and quitting my job to pursue my passion), I ended up achieving them, and then more — despite all the horror stories and promises of failure by the naysayers. Each time, I discovered that the journey was nothing like what the naysayers had painted it to be. Each time, I found more joy, love and fulfillment on this new path than if I had stuck to my old ways. Each time, I experienced more personal growth than if I had done nothing about my goals.
You see, for naysayers, they don’t know how it’s like to pursue your goals. Everything they say, they say it with the intent to scare you away from your goals. Do you know why?
It’s because they’re actually scared themselves. Because they’ve never done what you’re trying to do, they’re scared that you’ll succeed. They’re scared that if you succeed, it’ll show that they have been wrong about life all this while, and that they should be taking action when they aren’t. They’re scared to discover that they’ve been undermining their potential and wasting their lives all this while.
It’s unfortunate for them, but you need to remember that these are their fears, not yours, and there’s no reason why you should own their fears about your goals. Your life is yours and you don’t need others to tell you what you should do. If you’re facing a naysayer,

Safeguard your goals.

Imagine you’re creating a beautiful, grand sandcastle at the beach. Now, imagine someone pouring water on top of your castle every minute. Will you be able to build anything eventually?
No, of course not. Each time you build your castle foundations, they instantly get demolished by the gush of water. In the end, you’ll get some clumpy-lump-of-an-excuse for a castle, not to mention you feel highly frustrated. All your efforts to create your castle will be in vain.
That’s the same thing when you listen to naysayers. Being discouraging and skeptical, they tend to focus on the downsides, the “dangers,” and — this one’s my favorite — anecdotal failure stories about your goal(s). For every second you listen to them, it’s like pouring acid over your dreams. In the end, you are left with a demolished self-confidence and a wavering “Should I still do this?” thought about your dreams, whereas you were highly optimistic and confident prior to your encounter with them.

Evaluate the naysayer’s background.

Before considering anyone’s advice, I’ll always evaluate how the person is doing in his/her life. I’ll consider the following:
Is this person living a life that I want for myself?
Is the person successful in the goal that I’m pursuing?
Does this person have knowledge and expertise in what he/she is commenting on?
If the answers are “no,” “no,” and “no,” then I’ll discount what he/she says. After all, this person is where he/she is precisely from following his/her own thoughts and advice. By heeding his/her words, it can only get me to where he/she is, not where I want to be.

Evaluate the naysayer’s words.

Another tip is to evaluate the naysayer’s words. As the CEO of your life, you are the best person to assess and decide what works and doesn’t work for you. Consider the following:
What he/she is saying — does it resonate with me?
Is there validity behind his/her words?
Will applying this advice make me better off?
Is he/she coming from a place of fear or love?
If the answer is “no” to questions one to three, and the person is coming from a place of fear, then this advice isn’t for you – even if it is well-intended. Don’t let yourself get weighed down by it.

Source: LinkedIn