Yesterday, a serious incident occurred at work where I and a
friend ended up being harassed by a man who claims to be a superior. The issue wasn’t
handled professionally and went bad. I wouldn’t go into details, but it got me
upset. I woke up this morning still upset and wondered where we had gone wrong
and still couldn’t fathom it. However, the scene created by that incident isn’t
something I ever want to experience again.
So I sought for wisdom on ways I could possibly deal with
conflicts thereby guarding myself and protecting my integrity. Listed below are
the things I learnt and will practice:
Yelling,
using insults, or being sarcastic will make matters worse. Try these tips to
calm down:
·
Count down from 10 to 0.
·
Close your eyes and take deep breaths.
·
Think of a peaceful place or something that makes
you happy.
·
Slowly say over and over to yourself, "Take it
easy."
·
Take a short walk.
Think
about what's really bothering you.
·
Did someone say or do something that hurt your
feelings?
·
Is this a one-time problem or one that keeps
happening?
·
Are you upset now because of something else that
upset you in the past?
·
What do you really want in this situation or from
this relationship?
·
Talk to the other people or person about the
conflict. If you don't, they may not know what you're thinking. Try to avoid
distractions or interruptions.
·
Try to keep your voice calm.
·
Talk about how you feel and what you want instead
of blaming the other person. (Hint: Try to start your sentences with
"I…" instead of "You…".)
One
of you may not be totally wrong, and the other person may not be totally right.
You may just see the situation differently.
Sometimes
you need help from someone outside the conflict. Ask friends for ideas. Just
don't ask them to choose sides.
Sometimes
you can't find a way to resolve a conflict.
·
If the other person doesn't want to work it out.
·
If the conflict gets physical or the other person
is abusive, get help.
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