Monday 25 January 2016

Dealing with Conflict

Yesterday, a serious incident occurred at work where I and a friend ended up being harassed by a man who claims to be a superior. The issue wasn’t handled professionally and went bad. I wouldn’t go into details, but it got me upset. I woke up this morning still upset and wondered where we had gone wrong and still couldn’t fathom it. However, the scene created by that incident isn’t something I ever want to experience again.

So I sought for wisdom on ways I could possibly deal with conflicts thereby guarding myself and protecting my integrity. Listed below are the things I learnt and will practice:

 1. Cool off.
Yelling, using insults, or being sarcastic will make matters worse. Try these tips to calm down:
·      Count down from 10 to 0.
·      Close your eyes and take deep breaths.
·      Think of a peaceful place or something that makes you happy.
·      Slowly say over and over to yourself, "Take it easy."
·      Take a short walk.

Think about what's really bothering you.
·      Did someone say or do something that hurt your feelings?
·      Is this a one-time problem or one that keeps happening?
·      Are you upset now because of something else that upset you in the past?
·      What do you really want in this situation or from this relationship?

·         Talk to the other people or person about the conflict. If you don't, they may not know what you're thinking. Try to avoid distractions or interruptions.
·      Try to keep your voice calm.
·      Talk about how you feel and what you want instead of blaming the other person. (Hint: Try to start your sentences with "I…" instead of "You…".)

One of you may not be totally wrong, and the other person may not be totally right. You may just see the situation differently.

Sometimes you need help from someone outside the conflict. Ask friends for ideas. Just don't ask them to choose sides.
Sometimes you can't find a way to resolve a conflict.
·      If the other person doesn't want to work it out.

·      If the conflict gets physical or the other person is abusive, get help. 

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